November 3rd, 2006 - Getting older
I had two realizations this week that scared me.
* One day, I won’t be able to walk to work anymore, at least not in the middle of winter. It simply won’t be safe anymore. Not that it’s all that safe now (3 sprained wrists in 4 years due to falls)! But what will I do when I can’t walk that far anymore? Will we have to have two cars? Or will I ride the bus? That would work fine I guess. Hadn’t thought of that at first. Of course, this is predicated on my not retiring by then. Since I have no idea when that will happen nor how I will physically age, who knows. But I did think about it.
* One day, I won’t be able to eat fresh vegetables from my garden since I won’t be able to garden. It might be due to my declining abilities or my husband’s. My grandfather moved out of his house and away from his beloved garden due to my grandmother’s dementia. Luckily, there will still be farmer’s markets….but it isn’t the same.
I’ve been noticing my age lately, something I haven’t really done since I hit adulthood. The years going by haven’t mattered too much. I don’t really feel like a 34 year old. I don’t think I look like one either. I feel much like I did in my early 20s and think I look the same, too. Not that I’ve compared photos, it’s just my self-perception.
Then I sprained my ankle. 3 months later, my left ankle still looks larger than my right. I still have trouble doing child’s pose in pilates/yoga in a way I never did before. I realized I don’t have the same body I did when I sprained my ankle in high school and in college. And it’s just generally weird and scary to me.
My grandmother has dementia and osteporosis (I think; I know her sister had the latter and Grandma sure looks like she could have it, too). I just learned my Mom is getting arthritis in her hands. I can’t imagine not being able to use my hands like I do now. I have had problems with sciatica for a few years now. I eat generally heathily, I walk a lot, I’ve been exercising with the program at work, while life has been stressful I’m pretty successful at keeping happy. So why is my body falling apart on me?
November 24th, 2006 at 6:21 pm EST
It will not get easier. My husband and I are in our mid 50s, trying to set up a new homestead. He got a rotator cuff injury to his shoulder right after he moved in. When he tries to do too much, he literally can’t lift his arm. I’ve had arthritis in a number of spots and some day will not be able to knit or spin. I’m trying to do what I can, while I can. I don’t feel too badly, as we have a friend our age who is confined to a wheelchair. He had an accident while logging many years ago and is paralyzed from the waist down. If he can cope, we can manage somehow.